2006-07-06
Happy Hunting
Every summer the Sierra Club crowd raises a big hullaballoo about zebra mussels and various other "non-indiginous species" that threaten our environment. But nobody ever talks about the invasive summertime species that poses the biggest threat to our immediate well-being:
Road bikers.
This increasingly common speciman can be identified by its brightly colored Spandex and its inability to comprehend basic traffic laws. Scientists theorize that they are a semi-human species, a sort of underdeveloped Homo Sapien which lacks the cognitive capability to locate the fucking sidewalk.
In an effort to control the Road-biker population, the Department of Natural Resources has declared May through August as open hunting season on road bikers.
And if you're not the hunting type, just try to think of them as natural speedbumps.
zebrasaur at 12:19 a.m.
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