2006-08-04

It's my country and I'll strip if I want to

This is going to be a long one, so get comfortable. Maybe grab a Powerbar or something. Don't worry, I'll wait.

Ok? Ready? Here we go...

Recently, some young Minnesotan entrepeneurs began work on an ambitious project: the establishment of a beautiful new Minneapolis nightclub called Divas.

Perhaps the word "beautiful" was a little strong. It would probably have been more accurate to call it a "sleazy" nightclub or a "shady" nightclub or a "XXX Girls Girls Girls XXX XXX" nightclub. Beautiful? enhhhh...

But, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Who, in this case, would have been legions of drunken, horny, semi-desperate men wielding stacks of dollars bills.

Or so it would have been, if it were not for the Christians asserting their "right to practice their religion freely". Which is a euphemism for their "right to object to anything that doesn't agree with their personal moral code."

The owners of a Christian nightclub in the same area of Minneapolis are now arguing that their own nightclub is actually a church, and according to Minnesota law, a strip club can not be built within 500 feet of a church.

Frankly, this is a load of shit. First of all, the Christian nightclub never called itself a church until this issue arose. Secondly, Christians need to stop being such a pain in the ass. The strippers never tried to stop you from talking about Jesus, and listening to god-music, and speaking in tongues and whatever the hell else it is that you do in a Christian nightclub. You have no right to try to stop them from hanging tassels on their boobs and dancing to bass-heavy music underneath a blacklight.

Maybe you find it upsetting that people are sinning within 500 feet of where you are exercising your "right to practice your religion freely", but hell, they probably find it upsetting that you're singing "Amazing Grace" so near to where they're exercising their "right to succumb to the temptations of the devil if they damn well feel like it."

But this issue is much larger than a simple zoning dispute in Minneapolis. To be honest, I don't really give a shit about either the strip club or the christian club; I don't have any plans to attend either facility in the foreseeable future. What pisses me off is that this is a symptom of a much more serious problem; the slow but steady forceful Christianization of the United States. Since when is freedom reserved for people wearing crosses around their necks? There is a name for that shit -- "theocracy." And last time I checked (which was roughly 30 seconds ago, on Wikipedia) we don't live in a theocracy. In the America that I know and love, there is room both for prayer and promiscuity! Jesus and G-strings! Theology and ...um.... sex.

zebrasaur at 6:08 p.m.

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