2006-12-16
it turns you gay
Have you read this book? Me neither. I heard it turns you gay. Actually, I heard that it's turning an entire generation of American children gay. Well, at least the ones that Tinky Winky missed.
But wait... that's ridiculous. Right? I mean, could reading a story about a couple of penguins really turn a child into a chaps-wearing, hair-gelling, full-blown gay?
The answer is yes.
It turns out that homosexuality is contagious, much like the bird flu or my dazzling smile. So watch out for common symptoms such as headache, drowsiness, and residence of San Francisco. If you seek medical attention immediately, the condition may be reversible by emergency exposure to contact sports (men) or three straight days of Hugh Grant movies (women).
Disclaimer: If you've been bitten by a homosexual, it's already too late. You will be transformed by the light of the next full moon.
zebrasaur at 8:09 p.m.
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