2007-02-23
Maybe you'd rather just look at porn?
An advance warning: Unless you find tired political diatribes enjoyable, you will not find much of interest in this entry. If you'd rather just skip this one and go look at porn or play tetris or something, I wouldn't hold it against you.
College is supposed to nudge you to the left on the political spectrum. Especially a college like this, where the only thing that distracts us from tree-hugging is beer-drinking. So much beer-drinking.
Anyway, since I spent my high school years as Young Democrats President, I was actually situated to fall off the left end of the political spectrum; I really should been returning home this summer smelling of potchouli and weaving my own clothes from hemp. But since I can't do anything right, I'm pulling a Zoolander** and swinging right instead.
So when next you Facebook stalk me (and, readers, I know you do) just know that I didn't misspell "liberal" as "libertarian." I said libertarian and I meant it. I also said that I enjoy reality TV, and I meant that, too.
Yes, yes, I used to consider myself a Democrat, it's true. But the thing about Democrats is... well, that's just it. I don't quite get what the thing about Democrats is. Someone, somewhere must understand what in the coked-up Christ it is that these people are talking about, but the most I have been able to discern is a writhing mass of sex scandals (which I appreciate) and stupid, ineffectual ideas (which I do not.)
I put a fair amount of thought into this. For a while, I even considered going to a College Republicans meeting just to surround myself with people as politically confused as I am. But don't worry, I came to my senses before I sank that low. College Republicans? Pfft... I'm confused, but I'm not a fucking moron.
Anyway, this is just my long-winded way of prepping you to better understand the upcoming zebrasaur election commentary, which will undoubtedly be so insightful that it will move you to tears on a regular basis. Also, I wanted to let you down easy so you didn't suffer massive heart failure when I announced that I'm not falling all over myself to support Obama.
**If you understood that Zoolander comment, we are soulmates. Contact me immediately.
zebrasaur at 5:36 p.m.
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