2007-09-25

so THIS is what if feels like

Maybe you didn't know this about me. In fact, until recently I didn't know this about me. Or rather, I did know it, but I felt obligated to hide it from others in the same way I felt obligated to hide my sordid past of involvement with the Russian mafia or my affection for Star Wars. People would lose respect if they knew.

But since I'm not exactly swimming in a pool of admiration from my peers anyway, I might as well put it out there: I hate sports. Mostly I hate the watching thereof. I am happy to play (albeit not well, due to the curious matter of my remarkably crooked aim... but that's a separate discussion altogether.)

Football, baseball, basketball, hockey, tennis, volleyball, hotdog-eating... all of them. Baseball and hockey are the only two occasional exceptions. And that only under very specific conditions which are too complicated to describe here--but suffice to say that if you're ever watching a Twins game featuring Ron Weasley as the starting pitcher or a Wild game wherein the puck is replaced by various members of the Republican party, you can be sure that I'm cheerfully sitting somewhere in the stands.

AND YET I seem to keep finding myself at sporting events where I don't want to be, usually just sitting there wide-eyed and confused, thinking "I really don't want to be here." But no more. I'm selling my damn football tickets, moral qualms about scalping be damned.

Or so I thought. I posted my Michigan State ticket on Facebook Marketplace last night, and had ten offers to buy it within an hour. I confirmed with the highest offer, removed the listing, and crawled into bed.

...And stared at the ceiling. Feeling guilty. Because this guy is paying me nearly twice face value on a ticket that I didn't even want. At the same time, it's the end of the month and rent is due and the gas bill is due and the cable bill is due and internet is due and I could really use the money but....

This must be what it feels like to have a conscience. And I don't like it one bit.

zebrasaur at 8:01 a.m.

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