2007-11-28
feed the rich
The other day I was walking down the street when I saw another one. He was practically freezing in the bitter cold; all he had was a tin cup, a three-piece suit, and a limousine with no minibar. He had a sign that said "WILL CHEAT EMPLOYEES OUT OF RETIREMENT PLANS FOR FOOD."
It was another homeless CEO.
"Any tax cuts, man?" he asks me. "I just need a little to catch a private plane to the Bahamas... it's so cold, man..."
"Oh, well, I'm sorry I don't have any tax cuts on me right now." I said real quickly while walking away. Of course it was all lies. I had cuts to the capital gains tax, the estate tax and income tax right there in my wallet but I was just too greedy to give them to him. I just walked right by like he didn't exist.
"Oh, Rori, he just would have just spent it all on yachts," you say. And maybe you're right, but who are we to judge? Rich people are trapped in a world with too many opportunities and too many choices. Every day they wake to traumatic decisions. Do they eat the caviar, or frolic in the giant pile of gold? It's too much! Panic sets in. If only they had more money to help them sort things out.
That's why stuff like the president's budget is so important right now. The president's working on reducing the deficit by cutting funding for police and firefighters, veterans' benefits, child care, Medicaid, and food stamps while making his tax cuts permanent. This should finally take money back from the poor, who have so little money they don't know what to do with it, and give it to the rich, who have so much money and need so much more.
But the government can't do everything itself. We have to personally give of ourselves to help those more fortunate than us. Now it's alright to give through your local church or charity but here at Zebrasaur we've set up something special. It's called Adopt-a-Baron, and it lets you pick one of the wealthiest two percent of Americans to help them out yourself. This is Little Tim For just twenty dollars a day - the price of a table wine - you can buy Little Tim part of a new boat. Please, as Christmas approaches, find it in your heart to help Little Tim and others like him.
Somewhere out there is an old Time-Warner executive with only three houses. Make your commitment today.
zebrasaur at 6:55 p.m.
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