2008-02-10
three basic rules
So Barack Obama is coming to speak at the Kohl Center Tuesday, but I'm scheduled to do some hideous manual labor at work that night, so I won't be in attendance unless I figure out how to break the chains of serfdom stat. Like, maybe I could discover oil. Or deal drugs. Or run for president and embezzle my campaign fund.
Actually, except for the inevitable embezzlement scandal, I think I'd run a pretty slick campaign. I'm in touch with the common man, and I know what Americans want: health care and shelter and snacks and a place to make out. My promise would be simple: a fun government that has three basic rules:
1) No hitting.
2) Kids eat free.
3) Poor people aren't allowed to swim.
I'd vote for me, and you would be grossly mistaken if you disagreed.
zebrasaur at 9:06 p.m.
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