2008-02-13
Stand for Change
Those of you with the intellectual drive to tear yourself away from Perez Hilton for ten minutes in the last few months will know that the buzzword for the Obama campaign is "change"-- with good reason. And even though I couldn't make it to the Kohl center last night because I was otherwise occupied with serving up heart disease and type 2 diabetes at my esteemed place of work, I was inspired from a distance to be a part of that movement for change.
Now. Much respect as I have for Mr. Obama, we differ on one important point: he still professes hope for our country and future. I, on the other hand, realize that we are pretty much fucked and there is nothing we can do about it except invest in European markets and stock up on canned goods. Therefore I'm leaving the tired, the poor, the huddled masses and the Spears family to Barack to deal with while I confront greater evil on society's behalf: this...
...is a lamprey.
These blood-guzzling seabitches are parasitic and are responsible for killing about 6 out of 7 fish they attack, and even though weirdos (Finnish people, I think?) consider them a delicacy, they are doing a lot more harm than good (the lampreys, I mean, not the Finns. Though on second thought, maybe both.)
Treat yourself to a quick Google image search or Wiki-scroll and I'm sure you will understand why destroying all lampreys--be they lake-variety or sea-style--is now an important part of what is my life's work.
It's a small step, but a noble one. And, hell, that's already more than Ron Paul can say for himself.
zebrasaur at 8:46 p.m.
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