2007-03-06

Nobody!

Ok, fine. Second hand smoke is dangerous. I get that. So go ahead and ban cigarettes in the Olive Garden and Perkins. You can have McD's and Chipotle and Friday's, too. But the bars? No. We, the degenerate youth of this city, have to draw a line somewhere. And the bars are ours

"But cigarettes cause cancer!" "They damage your lungs!" "They're bad for you!" Bitch, bitch, bitch. Whine, whine, whine. Yeah, smoking is bad for you. But throwing back vodka shots isn't exactly the equivalent of taking a vitamin supplement, either. If you're so concerned about keeping your vital organs unmarred by chemicals, what are you doing with a beer in your hand? Nobody goes to a bar to eat granola and do yoga. They go to wreak havoc on their livers, and a little lung tissue damage on the side isn't going to kill them. Well, ok, it might kill them. But's it's not like it's going to be a surprise.

And, true, I don't smoke. True, I don't have immediate plans to take up the habit. But I like to keep my options open. Even the carcinogenic ones.

You can't take away my right to smoke. Tell me that I can't burn a flag. Tell me that I can't bring an automatic weapon to my Poli Sci lecture. But nobody will take away my right to smell bad and cough up black phlegm and then die an early death catalyzed by a combination of nicotine and my own misery.

Do you hear me?

NOBODY!

zebrasaur at 10:12 p.m.

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