2007-04-10
know a thing or two about mattresses
Recently I've been spending colossal sums of money that I don't actually have. Bad for my credit, good for my wardrobe-- life's a tradeoff. And as long as that's the case, let's talk about the latest on my list of must-haves: one of those revolutionary Tempurpedic mattresses.
I sleep on a vinyl-covered dorm mattress which I'm fairy certain is filled straw and small rocks from the lush fields of Wisconsin, so I'll admit that I've never actually slept on a Tempurpedic. But they look so comfortable! Can you disagree? I mean, they are made out of "revolutionary Tempur material" featuring "visco-elastic memory cells"
....like that's a real fucking word.
The best part is how the "scientists" behind this little slab of wonder mention about 30 times that the material was developed by NASA and that NASA totally approves and this is the only mattress "recognized by NASA." Because you know my reaction is going to be "NASA?! Well, those people know a thing or two about sleeping! I need this mattress!"
Or maybe, you know, NASA should spend a little less time "recognizing" mattresses and more time making shuttles that won't fucking blow up.
So in case that just floated over your head like so much smoke from the proverbial bong, I actually harbor no love for Tempurpedic. But my birthday's coming up in two short months and if you're short on ideas, you should know that I'm all about the Sleep Number.
zebrasaur at 10:08 a.m.
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