2007-04-19

the straight-and-narrow

It's been a few months now since I parted ways with my vodka habit and passed the dubious title of Captain Blackout on to my charming roommate. Although the more I observe her sorority-style drinking habits, the more convinced I am that I was deluded to think the title ever belonged to me at all.

But regardless of whether I spent first semester as first-place or runner-up raging alcoholic in room 1052, I am now back on the straight-and-narrow-- feeding orphans and saying ten Our Fathers every night.

And yet I'm fairly certain that all those chemicals have effected my brain, because I'm no longer funny or able to hold a truly comprehensible conversation. And I hallucinate about doing my laundry and oversleeping. Boring delusions are the biggest waste of a mental illness since they started prescribing treatment for ADHD. Where, may I ask, are all the psychedelic flying class-D vehicles? And why can't I see the Virgin Mary in the pool of Frappuccino I just spilled?

So far, insanity is so far below par that it's barely even worth describing. It ends up just making me hungry and craving for a new episode of Oprah.

Pretty much what I was like before, guys.

zebrasaur at 10:36 p.m.

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