2007-09-02
solid gold
I have a sneaking suspicion that I may have embarassed myself to an epic degree last night. It's all a touch blurry but I do recall a few important highlights including --but not limited to!-- seeing some strangers on Park Street with a pizza and making up an elaborate story about how Emily just broke up with her fiancee so that they would give her a slice (they did) and talking drunk Spanish (which is actually my best Spanish) with Jaime and Hugo from East LA at a house party on Orchard.
Oh my, my, my. I don't know what got into me! Wait, how stupid of me. I do know what got into me. Goldschlager!
Goldschlager is fast becoming my favorite novelty booze. It is clear cinnamon liqueur swirling with tiny flakes of real gold. Yes! Real gold, inside the bottle, mixed up, ready to flow into your stomach, small intestines and other digestion-related organs. The alcohol may affect your equilibrium, giving you a light-headed feeling. The dense gold flakes also affect your equilibrium, delivering a stomach-churning gold "rush".
The gold flakes swoosh around like a billionaire's snow-globe, attracting thirsty adults and nesting birds. It is touted by college students for the touch of class it adds to binge drinking, but I enjoy it for its ability to increase one's inner bling.
By the same token, almost any food could be improved with gold flakes. Gold could add a glittering gleam to soup, chili or ice cream. How about "gold on the bottom" yogurt? Movie popcorn could come with not only real butter, but real gold! Want something to pour on top of your golden brown waffles? How about Mrs. Goldsworth maple syrup? Having a superbowl party? Maybe your gold-encrusted chips would taste better with some Salsa Con Oro!
So! If you are in the market for some good clean fun of dubious legality, you know what liquor to buy. If, however, you are merely in the market for watching a normally respectable individual behave embarassingly then you don't need any liquor at all-- just give me a call and I'll be thrilled to oblige.
zebrasaur at 11:10 a.m.
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