2008-02-25
It makes people try harder
I promised myself that I'd a get a 4.0 this semester, as atonement for previous and unrelated sins. And I've actually done a pretty good job of keeping my shit together so far. The only thing standing in my way is Professor Schweber-- or more precisely, his stunning array of speech impediments.
To be fair, he's not an awful professor. He's definitely intelligent, which is a lot more than can be said for much of the sweater vested riffraff holding tenure here. But the fact that he is so incredibly smart is what makes it so frustrating that he
1. Is the shittiest orator in the Midwest, and possibly in the universe
2. Presumably owns a mirror, and yet can not see that his facial hair is some sort of gray kudzu nightmare
Now, I am a pretty laid back person and will therefore let most high crimes in the beard arena slide, but I am not willing to get a shitty grade in a class relevant to my major just because *you* so clearly failed Public Speaking 101.
I'm trying to figure out what I need to do to fix his errant ways, but since my parents weren't exactly "disciplinarians" I don't have a lot of experience with this stuff. I've heard that in Sing Sing, they would punish prisoners by putting a bucket around their neck and filling it with water, creating the sensation of drowning (for a minute or two). Evidently that makes people try more. And the best part: it leaves no marks!
Alternatively, just a simple fish with a knife in its head and a note that says "I hope Monday's lecture is damn good" in his mailbox.
zebrasaur at 12:01 a.m.
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